By now I’d noticed a peculiar phenomenon among gay men: Some guy would hand me his phone number or stuff it into my back pocket, apparently expecting me to call. It struck me that guys doing this had no idea how to be a gentleman, whereas straight men did it right. What I mean is, a gentleman interested in a woman will ask her for her phone number (taking the risk of being turned down), then calls her; he does not hand a woman his phone number and expect her to do the calling—the interested one, be it man or woman, properly does the work. So where did gay men get the idea that it’s the other way around? Man up, guys.
One weekend afternoon I was again in Lambda Rising browsing for sexy greeting cards and of course, the new issue of Bearmagazine. As I browsed, I noticed a guy with long hair and a big beard half-way down his chest. We made eye contact once or twice.
After a few minutes I browsed (browsing becoming the new sidling) over to him and said hi. We talked for a moment more and he said his name was Mack. I needed to go meet some friends for a movie, so I excused myself, saying that it was nice to meet him.
I thought Mack was attractive even though I don’t usually care for long hair on a man, and as I walked up the street, kicked myself for not asking him for his phone number (being the interested gentleman). I got to the theater, bought the tickets for my friends and me. And since I still had some time, ran back to Lambda Rising. But Mack was gone.
Not knowing what else to do, the next day I called the Washington Blade and placed a “Glances” personal ad about meeting Mack at Lambda Rising. (The era of Glances in the Washington Blade was fun, like buying a lottery ticket, whether you hoped to get a reply from someone you Glanced, or if you checked the listings to see if just maybe you got Glanced. I posted several Glances over the years, usually without result.)
That Friday, shortly after the Blade came out, I called the Glances hotline, not really expecting to get a message that soon. But to my great surprise, Mack had already left me a message plus a number to call him back at. I dialed immediately.
He answered and as we talked, he said he had never been Glanced before and was quite flattered, adding that he might not have seen my Glance at all except a friend of his spotted it in the paper and recognized the (apparently accurate) big-beard description I wrote.
Mack and I set up a date for brunch on Sunday to get better acquainted. Over brunch, we talked about the usual things of what our interests were, what we did for work, and so on.
A few days later we got together again for dinner and I asked Mack if he would like to come over to my house for ice cream. Later, as we relaxed on my couch with some all-natural vanilla and a Star Trek rerun, we gradually got closer and closer and I tried a kiss. I wasn’t sure if I would like working my way through a beard as big as his, but I managed to get past the feeling of being smothered in hair.
We made out on the couch for a while and when Star Trek was over, I took Mack’s hand and led him into my bedroom. As we undressed, he uncovered a wonderfully hairy chest and slim body that had been hidden under layers of fall clothing. I thought he could have shown his very nice chest to better advantage by trimming his beard a bit but didn’t say so. I don’t remember the details about having sex, except that he was rather reserved. I wondered how comfortable he really was (I know the feeling), though he seemed happy enough to stay the night.
In the morning I made tea and drove Mack back to his apartment. I had meant to just drop him off and go, but he invited me up to see the place. As he showed me around, I sensed that he was starting to get horny again.
But I wanted to leave as I had other things already planned, and he walked me down to the street. When we got there, however, he confessed to being horny and needing to jerk off. I chuckled and suggested (gently, I hoped) that next time to say so before leaving the apartment. (I KNOW, I KNOW, I suppose I could have gone back upstairs with him. And Mateo would have agreed.)
I ran into Mack occasionally downtown and even once when he dropped by my house for a visit, though we didn’t have sex again. He was a nice guy and now after all these years, I no longer remember why I didn’t follow up, or if I should be a little sorry I didn’t.