Why a glossary? Straight or foreign* readers, or perhaps those newly questioning their own orientation, might not know terms I used but are commonplace in American gay culture. Either way, please note that the terms below are defined specifically for this. I encourage the interested reader, if there is one, to search online for better definitions. (*hence Google Translate, even if occasionally imperfect.)
attitude: an unpleasant disdain expressed in public, usually by young gay men unburdened by a kind nature, especially in front of friends, to humiliate others imagined inferior in some way.
B&D: bondage and domination; see BDSM.
BDSM: Bondage, domination, and sadomasochistic activities often but not always leading to sex. Mutual consent and respect of personal limits at all times are critical to safety and (yes) enjoyment.
bandana: a folded handkerchief partly sticking out of a rear pocket, with color and position indicating the wearer’s sexual proclivities. Over the years, hankie color codes have multiplied beyond utility; I mean, fuchsia and magenta look pretty similar in a dark bar. Beware brown.
bear: a man with a beard and body hair; and these days, heavy or obese. Often the opposite of twink. (Bears often say “woof” at each other but I never understood what a barking dog has to do with it.)
bear cub: young, cute, or smallish bear; maybe still developing body hair. Often pliant and obedient.
blow (verb); blow job (noun): fellatio.
breakfast martini: 2 parts vanilla vodka, 1 part elderflower liqueur, 1/4 part sweet (rouge) vermouth. Shake and garnish with melon balls or the nearest firm fruit (such as the one you dragged home last night). The author invented this cocktail.
breakfast margarita: a margarita you have for breakfast (life needn’t be complicated). The author invented this cocktail, too.
bred: slang for being or having been fucked. A macho cliché often used on gay hook-up social media to imply a desire, real or fantasy, for immediate, unadorned sex. See also bottom.
bottom: recipient in a scene or in penetration sex; the one who gets fucked or (sigh) bred in Texas or elsewhere. Opposite of top.
Cape Cod: cranberry juice and vodka, a definition often new to male airline flight attendants who need to be spanked (don’t ask). Garnish with lime or a “walk” in the dunes—staying on the path, of course.
car-camping: when you drive to a location and set up tents near the vehicle, and you can take large or heavy supplies such as chairs or a beer cooler; contrast backpacking with only lightweight kit.
CDC: the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, part of the US government; cdc.gov
chatting up: talking nicely to someone to advance your purpose, for example, to have sex.
closet: a metaphor of the private “place” LGBTQ+ people hide their true feelings or activities when they have not disclosed their sexual orientation to themselves or others.
closet case: slightly disdainful term someone hiding their (gay) sexual orientation, in Texas or anywhere, often out of ignorance, fear, and self-loathing aka in denial. Sometimes they’re so closeted they’re the only one who doesn’t know they’re gay. Extreme closet cases may express their self-loathing through hate and violence toward others whom they fear themselves to be like, often citing religious reasons not actually found in their religion (if they bothered to check). See also radar.
coming out: a metaphor for disclosing one’s sexual orientation, i.e., “coming out” of the closet.
cruise: look pointedly at someone, usually evincing a desire for sex, often followed by chatting up.
daddy: an older or older-seeming man; some daddies might come with tangible “benefits” (such as spending money or free housing).
in denial: the state of being unwilling to admit to a truth about oneself that would be obvious (perhaps laughably so) to others.
Eagle: a gay bar so named and often catering to patrons favoring leather or similar ideals (see below). According to Wikipedia, as of 2017, there were over 30 gay bars around the world with “Eagle” in the name.
fly-over state: central U.S. states, such as Texas, undesirable as destinations due to the presence of hate politics and religion, deliberate ignorance, bigotry, or absent cultural or recreational opportunities.
fuck buddy: someone with whom you occasionally have consensual sex, but without exclusive or “next time” commitment.
gaily forward: to continue in the same physical or metaphorical direction by those unable to go “straight” ahead; for example, offensively, “for five straight days.” (Referring to a “straight” sequence is a form of orientationism, paralleling those words or phrases deemed sexist, and therefore, correctly, to be called out.)
gaydar: see radar.
get off: have an orgasm (best deployed between two men).
handkerchief: see bandana.
head; head job: fellatio.
“how do you want (or like) your eggs”: someone is saying they think you’re highly desirable sexually.
jerk off: masturbate.
lambda: the Greek letter λ widely adopted in the 1970s as an emblem of gay and lesbian associations or other things.
leather:
leather club: an association of (usually) men who appreciate “leather” and related fetish ideals; but can involve non-sexual activities, e.g., a bake sale raising money for a charity.
leather contest: a (usually) friendly competition between (usually) men expressing homoerotic “leather” culture verbally or physically, culminating in one contestant deemed winner as “Mister [name or location],” for example, “Mister Camp Lejeune.”
leather dance: a social event designed for those into “leather” and usually featuring a DJ playing loud, electronic dance music, a large and dimly-lit “dark” dance floor filled with shirtless men, laser or strobe light effects, and occasionally real or simulated demonstrations of BDSM activities. Try Paul Oakenfold’s Trance or any Moto Blanco remix to sample the kinds of music often played at leather dances.
leather fatigue: getting tired of all the drama, and can I please just have a cocktail and watch something with Judy Garland or Hugh Jackman?
LGBTQ+: acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/sexual, and Queer or Questioning, with “+” representing additional sexual minorities overlooked by the Acronym Planet. In other words, all those who aren’t limited to real or imagined “straight” sexuality.
low hangers: testicles in a long, relaxed scrotum.
lube: a liquid or pasty substance used to reduce friction and enhance enjoyment during sex or masturbation. Lubes are generally water-based, oil-based, silicone-based, or even food-based (e.g., rancid Crisco).
mono: the disease of mononucleosis, often with the symptom of extreme fatigue after even minor physical activity.
nipple clamps; tit clamps: metal closures not unlike a small clothespin which have a spring or adjustable screws to squeeze a nipple. Pairs of clamps are usually joined by a short chain for tugging.
nipple rings: loop-shaped jewelry, usually metal, worn pierced through the nipple. May cause the nipples to become more sensitive and erotic.
nut: orgasm; a metaphor based, for some reason, on what squirrels want.
open relationship: a relationship in which the partners agree each may have sex with others.
out; out of the closet: a metaphor for not hiding one’s sexual orientation; i.e., to be “out” of a closet. See also coming out.
over forty and never married: implying that straight people get married (at least once) before age forty whereas an unmarried older person in Texas or elsewhere might be gay (because never married).
over the rainbow: metaphor for a journey to a better place: of “coming out” and joining gay culture; references the song "Over the Rainbow" from the 1939 movie The Wizard of Oz, itself now a metaphor for the journey of gay men. Especially consider the lyric, “the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true,” wherein a man who dreams of loving another man may do so without fear.
penile curvature study: Chung, E; Gillman, M; Rushton, D; Love, C; Darren Katz, D. 2018. Prevalence of penile curvature: a population-based cross-sectional study in metropolitan and rural cities in Australia. BJU International, Vol. 122, S5.
play: various activities of physical touch or intimacy; may be similar foreplay. See also scene.
poppers: a small vial of usually amyl nitrite, the vapors of which are deliberately inhaled for a “high” to enhance sexual experience.
porn mustache: a full mustache often worn without other facial hair, often grown down toward the corners of the mouth. A stereotypical 1970s men’s fashion, especially in gay male porn.
power exchange: in BDSM, one may yield physical (and sometimes mental) control to another. It is a matter of deepest trust and is talked about—see safe word—ahead of time.
pre-cum: a natural lubricant fluid exuded by the penis when aroused. In the short story, Brokeback Mountain, pre-cum is “slick.”
PrEP: acronym for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis; medicines that greatly prevent HIV infection; does not “cure” HIV or AIDS (which is not a proper noun but an acronym and therefore, all capitalized).
Pride: a recognition or celebration of LGBTQ+ people and culture; the opposite of shame and stigma (due often to false religious beliefs or bigoted politicians). Pride celebrations often occur in June.
Prince Albert: a piercing in the penis consisting of a loop of metal that goes in through the urethra and loops back out through a pierced hole under the head of the penis.
radar: aka “gaydar.” The supernatural ability of gay men to recognize other gay men, especially closet cases, and especially in ordinary places, for example, any Texas gun store or Republican Senate men’s room.
S&M: sadomasochistic; see BDSM; also Christianity in Texas.
safe space: a location, usually indoors, offering protection from discrimination or violence.
safe word: a term previously agreed upon that when uttered, pauses or halts BDSM activities, for example, “red light,” yet allows the participants to express feeling (“Ow!” needn’t mean stop).
santorum: “that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” (urbandictionary.com).
scene: activities with a purpose or theme, often leading to or including sex. See also play.
schwung: past tense of schwing; onomatopoeia of a sword being unsheathed, implying a penis becoming erect; after Wayne’s World.
sex: a shared intimacy during which at least one person has an orgasm (you may disagree, but what did I say at the start of the glossary?)
sixty-nine: a reciprocal oral sex position in which each person is mouth-to-genitals with another, hence the visual similarity to the shape of number 69. Highly recommended.
suck top: a man receiving fellatio in Texas or elsewhere.
“Sugar Baby Love”: 1970s pop song adapted for an affirming video about AIDS awareness, also meeting the right man. As of this publication: youtube.com/watch?v=fVsUZfcJdQc
trailer-park mimosa: orange juice and last-night’s flat, leftover white wine. Add an Alka-Seltzer tablet if you need bubbles, dear.
Tom of Finland: pseudonym of Touko Laaksonen, the fine artist depicting a homoerotic subculture of hyper-masculine men.
tonic and lime: non-alcoholic beverage of tonic water (containing quinine) and a little lime juice or a wedge of lime.
top: active participant in a scene or penetration sex; the fucker, the one who does the fucking. Opposite of bottom.
twink: stereotype of a young or young-appearing, lithe, and hairless man, often expressing attitude.
twink bar: a drinking establishment frequented by twinks.
venite adoremus: “let us adore him”; from the Latin lyrics of “O Come, All Ye Faithful” (pun on “come,” duh).
versatile: willing and able to switch participation as top or bottom.
walk of shame: going home the morning after a sleepover; may be accompanied by the laughter of friends.
went down; to go down on: providing fellatio in Texas or elsewhere.